Amazons Attack! Again!

Once upon a time, DC Comics released a crossover storyline called “Amazons Attack!” In this story, Wonder Woman’s mother, the queen of Themiscyra, went insane and decided that Man’s World should be destroyed. So they attacked Washington DC with all the magic and weird tech they could muster.

Needless to say, the Justice League were taken quite aback.

The one thing I remember was that they released some sort of killer bees onto the population and Batman was really very concerned. The panel read, “An Amazon attack. A deadly bee weapon. Bees. My God.” I remember having to put the comic down and back away because I was laughing so hard. I had no idea that the rest of the Internet was as tickled as I was and that someone had created a meme. But, it looks like that happened.

Anyway, DCU Online has released a new DLC called “Amazon Fury!” which looks like basically the “Amazons Attack!” storyline. And the biggest question on my mind is, “Will there be bees?” Because I’d totally spend the 10 bucks or whatever to hear Kevin Conroy’s Batman say those immortal three words.


“Roger, Roger”

I’ve been avoiding the “Star Wars: Clone Wars” cartoons. And I wasn’t even sure why until I decided to start watching them. First of all, you have to understand that I don’t consider myself a big Star Wars fan. Yes, I’ve seen all the movies, including the Ewok specials and the dreaded Holiday Special. I had many of the action figures as a kid. I was as excited as anyone else when Episode 1 premiered. I had even bought and read the comic book adaptation so was pretty spoiled for the movie. I’ve read some of the Expanded Universe. Just the Timothy Zahn stuff, really. (I met him once. Great guy.) I probably know more about the Star Wars universe than the average lay person. But I don’t really consider myself a die-hard fan.


I wanted to like the three prequels. I really did. But there was just so much that bothered me. And I hated that this new backstory contradicted the stuff I’d already read in the Expanded Univere. This new Star Wars universe seemed brighter, chirpier, more kid-friendly than I was expecting.


I think my main complaint, however, about the prequels is the presence of the battle droids. These are really stupid droids. And there are a lot of them, all created/rented/hired/whatever to fight a war. And they’re morons! And very fragile. And talk like kids’ toys! Why the hell are these things considered a threat at all? Their campiness and uselessness is only outdone by the extremely hateable Jar Jar Binks.


Battle Droids

     Seriously. I’ve seen toasters more threatening.


I know, I know. C3P0 and R2D2 were mostly comic relief in the movies. And I’m fine with a protocol droid and a mech droid being Abbot and Costello in the Star Wars ‘verse. Seems fitting. But when we’re talking about an army so menacing, so threatening that they created a civil war. Well… this isn’t it. That big battle they had on Naboo in the first movie? They didn’t need an army of Gungans. They just needed a couple dozen bulldozers. Roll right over ’em.


That being said, I’m four episodes into “Clone Wars” and I have to say it’s a nice, solid story so far. Despite the existence of those damn droids. Though every time they appear on screen the quality goes down.


So I guess I’ll be celebrating Star Wars Day by watching a few Clone Wars episodes and not speculating on the upcoming sequels.


May the Fourth be with you all.